Week #13 – “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

#50 "How ya' doing?" (Photo credit: Grace Church)

#50 “How ya’ doing?” (Photo credit: Grace Church)

(Editor’s note: Thanks again to all who’ve generously responded with donations or pledges for the 50 for #50 virtual toy drive!  We have 12 individuals confirmed so far, with a total of at least 31 gifts given in Rob’s honor to-date.  We are so close!  Check the footer of this page for an up-to-date list of toys and locations — and if you’d like to join the tribe, just let us know what you donated and where…and maybe even post a photo to Facebook!  I’ll update the total each week, with a grand total on Friday 12/26.  THANK YOU TEAM HAPPYNESS!!!)

Week #13 – “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

It’s not surprising that someone left these words on the board at Rob’s services.  This is a question we hear in passing every single day (How are ya?  How ya’ doing?) — but few people really intend to get an answer.  However, as many of you know, Rob was not a casual question asker-er.  When he asked you something — he meant it.  He wanted to know the answer — and he was prepared to take the time to get it.  He wasn’t afraid of an honest answer either.  In fact, he seemed to delight in it!  I’d venture a guess that much of the happiness in our individual relationships with him was built on this kind of ease and honesty.  It is one of the things I selfishly miss the most.

13 Weeks is significant — it’s exactly one quarter of a calendar year, one season, and three complete months since SpreadHappyness was born with the mission to look at the little ways our beloved friend/brother/mate/partner brought happiness to people’s lives — and challenge ourselves to carry this light forward to others each week:

1. Wave Big
2. Say Hello Like You Mean It
3. “Shakers!” (aka Nicknames…)
4. Got “Character”?
5. How to be “Beautiful”
6. “Pure Energy” (Are you an outlet or a plug?)
7. Don’t make pretend…make plans!  Go…”Get Your Wings!”
8. Are you a “Smiling Guy” (or gal)?
9. Ready for some “Strange Magic”?
10. “Gabes and Toyds”  (What’s on your wish list?)
11. There’s no (i) in “Generous”
12. There’s no (i) in “Thoughtful” either!
13. “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

Happiness is not an accident.  It’s a choice.  We CAN create happiness…one week, and one interaction, at a time!

Your assignment for this weekend: Pick someone (or maybe try everyone) and ask sincerely: “Hey, how ya’ doing?”  Be prepared to spend a little time listening to an honest answer…and be ready to offer words of encouragement whether it’s good news or bad news.  This includes being excited/enthusiastic/encouraging to someone who is starting something new — or being patient/understanding/steadfast toward someone who is struggling.  One great answer to either scenario is simply: “I believe in you!” (and mean it!)

And so, let me ask you…How are you doing?  Have you spread happiness lately?  Is there anything I can do to help or encourage or celebrate with you?  Because…and this is true…I believe in you!

Spread Happyness this week…and tell us how you are doing in the comments!

12/12/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Congratulations to Amy Wood-Oblen for a successful Monster Truck Rides for Toys event last Sunday — and thanks to all who donated!

50 for #50 Toy Drive Update
AS OF 12/23/14:
1. Thomas the Tank Activity Toy was donated at Dollar General in Netcong, NJ.
2. Two Lego sets and a Lincoln Log set were donated at Toys for Tots in Stockholm, NJ.
3. Two Operation Christmas Child boxes, Baby Chicks, a Bible, and money to fund Thanksgiving baskets were donated at various locations near Succasunna, NJ.
4. Two Hallmark Jingle Bell Stuffed Animals will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
5. CLUE game will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
6. Hot Wheels Assortment was donated near Stanhope, NJ.
7. Donation made to EFA (Endometriosis Foundation of America) in Robert’s memory.
8. Barbie VW beetle donated to Community Hope’s SSVF Program (supportive services for veteran families)
9. A baby doll with a pacifier and crib, a doc mc stuffin gift pack, and home made loom bracelets were donated to the Hackettstown Police Department in Hackettstown, NJ.
10. 2 stuffed horses, a Crayola creation set and a remote control car were donated to Toys for Tots in Parsippany, NJ.
11. Four wigs (along with bandanas) were donated to Carol G. Simon Cancer Center in Summit, NJ.
12. Five gifts — Mega Blocks, a play xylophone, a Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack, a baby doll, and a plush puppy dog — were donated for a sweet little girl through Angel Tree in Tampa, FL.
13. A monetary donation was made to Toys for Tots near Flanders, NJ.
14. A donation was made to Mylestone Horse Rescue in Rob’s name.
15. Two very generous donations were made in Hopatcong, NJ: Gift #1 — 2 sweaters, 2 mulitmedia pads, a color wheel, and 126 mulitmedia art set. Gift #2 — tie dye kit, package of white tee shirts, cross stitch kit, crewel kit, soap making kit, nail kit, 2 bottles of nail polish, nail treatment, nail oil, base coat and top coat, and lots of socks!
16. A donation was made in Rob’s memory to Memorial Sloan Kettering.
17. Donations were made at Toys for Tots and Bergen County animal shelter in New Jersey.
18. A donation was made in Rob’s name to Eleventh Hour Animal Rescue.
19. A $50 donation was made in Rob’s name to United Methodist Global Aviation Ministry.

6 thoughts on “Week #13 – “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

  1. Cousin Mary

    This really is thought provoking ! And I love it! I can’t tell you how many of my clients every day say ” so how ya doing” my response is always … Great.. Or fabulous. Now this has opened my eyes to listen to them a little deeper or anyone for that matter, and really want to “hear” what there saying. Thank you for all the positive energy. Love love

    1. Grace Church Post author

      Hi Mary! Thank you so much for taking the time to post! Yes — in service especially, it is so easy to say “hey, how are you?” and just keep moving on the task at hand. It’s a tough balance to keep working and yet take the time really listen — but I know you can do it! I believe in you! 😉

  2. Jodi Lupo

    This one got me thinking about whenever Rob would come to the salon to visit and would ask “how are you” or ” How was your day” as these were not generic questions to Rob and he would not the accept the generic answer ok, good or great. He would follow up with another question and what followed were some of the best conversations I ever had. Whether they were humorous and funny, serious or just talking about life in general they were always enjoyable and meaningful. Sometimes he would have everyone in the salon in a group conversation. As one of my co workers said, Rob had a unique energy that will be missed.

    1. Grace Church Post author

      Thanks Jodi — I love that I heard from two stylists today! You captured exactly what I mean — he wouldn’t let up until he got an honest-to-goodness answer! Looking back now, as I said at his graveside, I wonder if deep in his being he knew he didn’t have time for anything less than the truth! Thank you so much for checking in and for sharing this! XOXO


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