Week #76 – Lose someone? Tell me…”What was he/she like?”
Greetings All — and Happy Friday!
I had the chance to watch the movie ST. VINCENT with Bill Murray this week. And this exchange stood out to me:
Oliver: “Sorry, Vin, for your loss.”
Vincent: “Never understand why people say that.”
Oliver: “They don’t know what else to say.”
Vincent: “How about, What was she like? Do you miss her? Or, What are you gonna do now?”
“What was she (or he) like?”
On Monday we had dinner with some people we haven’t seen in person in a few years. Inevitably the question comes up: what have you been up to? Inevitably, we fill in the events of the last year or so. Inevitably, people are sorry for our loss.
But this time…the young man at the table asked me a question:
How do you do it? How do you keep someone’s memory alive?
So I told him about the blog: how it started, what I set out to do, where it’s headed. I was honest with him…I wasn’t sure who was reading it, if anyone, or for how much longer.
“Just write. Write for yourself. To remember him.”
And it struck me that that was true. So this week…I bring you a photo of Rob at a family wedding. It was a fun wedding…a true celebration…with an awesome cocktail hour and dancing all night long. There are endless stories to tell from this wedding…most notably of Rob getting his butt pinched by another male attendee!!! To him…it remained a compliment of the highest order! And we laughed about it many times since. A single moment…a most precious memory. A shocking good time was had by all!!!
Your Challenge for the Week Ahead: “What was he/she like?” Chances are you’ll encounter someone this week who has suffered a loss. Our first instinct (and mine too, believe me!) is to apologize…to say we are sorry. And we are…but maybe we can go further. Ask a follow-up question: What was he/she like? Were you close? Do you miss him/her? (I’m sure there are others.) I often hear people say, I’m sorry to ask about him. And my immediate reply is always the same: don’t be sorry…I love to talk about him!
Remember your loved ones…and help someone this week remember theirs!
Spread Happyness – have you lost someone dear? Tell me: “What was he/she like?”
2/26/16 by Grace Church
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