Monthly Archives: July 2021

Week #359 – Get Some Sleep!

“Get Some Sleep!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #359 – Get Some Sleep!

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday! 

Here we are on the very last Friday in July — and how do you feel?

I don’t know about you…but I feel one word: TIRED!

Maybe it’s the East Coaster in me but after five years of living in Southern California I still can’t get used to the idea that tomorrow’s going to be another sunny day. So I still feel that pressure, like many of you, to “make something” of the summer.

But the thing is out here, summer doesn’t stop. It just keeps going…well into October. Because every day is a beautiful day. So there’s very few cloudy days, rainy days, inside days, or plain old “lazy” days.

It’s exhausting.

The long summer days (and short nights) lead us all to stay up later, get up earlier, and be way more active than the heat-index would want us to be!

Which has led me to wave the white flag…and declare: I’M GOING TO BED EARLY!

We (my siblings and I) grew up in a house with “Quiet Time.”  That meant that after a certain time at night — you simply did not make noise.  And if you did — well, my parents were the type that actually imposed consequences for actions!  So…let’s just say, you didn’t want to go there!

As a kid, being able to stay up late to watch Honeymooners re-runs seemed like no big deal.  In retrospect, I totally understand.  My father had to get up very early to go to work — and my mother got up with him — so sleep was really important.  It’s pretty important to me now, too — and I don’t even have kids!

As grown-ups, we Churches still love our quiet time!  My brother Rob especially.  He loved hours upon hours of solitude.  It’s one thing he really taught me as an adult — the value of time alone.

And yet…here we are, at the height of summer and busier than ever, right?! Perhaps you feel it too — the pressure that builds as we turn the calendar to August and “Back-to-School” looms in the distance.  So much to do…so little time…and the countdown clock to Labor Day is on! So our instinct is to pack it all in…to do more, to take advantage of the nice weather, to make hay while the sun shines!

And yet — our bodies are telling us just the opposite!  To sit, to rest, to watch, to wait, and yes…to even go to bed early (maybe even when there’s still light outside)!.  Can you feel it too?  The outside pressure to squeeze every last drop out of our long summer days — and the internal pleading to stop and slow down?

It’s enough to make a girl (or boy) crazy!

Your assignment for this week: Don’t get crazy…GET SOME SLEEP!  It is easy to get swept up into the busyness of summer.  Even vacations — intended to take you away from it all — can take on a life of their own so big and harried, you come back feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation!  Fight the urge to pack it all in…and take some time to get quiet.  This may be as simple as turning off the TV and, yes, going to bed early.  It may mean sleeping in or lounging in bed with a good book rather than rushing out to run errands.  It may mean sitting on your porch or deck and watching the sprinkler sprinkle and the grass grow for a bit.  It could mean staying on the beach until after sunset, rather than rushing out to eat dinner at the same time as the rest of the world.  Or sitting on a bench and watching night fall and the moon rise over your hometown.  It may even mean a few precious hours home alone to clean or tidy up — or blasting your favorite rock music when there’s no one else around to tell you to turn it down!

Keep Calm…and Get Some Sleep!

Spread Happyness — tell me, how much have you gotten lately? 😉

7/30/21 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #358 – Sign up to fail!

“Sign up to fail!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #358 – Sign up to fail!

Today is my partner James’ birthday! And do you know what I did?!

I signed him up to fail!

Let me explain: last year around this time, I gave Jim the gift of a lesson. A tennis lesson. In short, I signed him up to learn.

And after a year of consistent practice, regular play on the public courts, and more than a few lessons — it was time to take it a step further.

I signed him up for a tournament! And the moment I signed him up…I sent him the confirmation with the words: “Sh*t just got real!”

That’s because tournament play isn’t practice, and it isn’t play. It’s a single-elimination, every-point-matters, win-or-lose battle to the finals. And in singles tennis, there’s only one winner.

Game. Set. Match.

Given that it was Jim’s first tournament and he’d only been taking lessons and practicing for a year, while anything was indeed possible — it was a pretty safe bet that he wouldn’t make it all the way to the finals.

But the finals wasn’t the point.

What I signed him up for was competition. You see, playing at the public court is great…but there’s no score. There’s no stakes. There’s no leaderboard or bracket. What there is…is always another game.

But in tournaments, there isn’t. There is a loser. Every time. And that puts a little bit of pressure on things. Because it makes things more serious, more focused, more intense, more “real.”

And that’s not a bad thing. Because in the end, Jim said that it really sharpened his skills. See, constant practice and play seems disciplined…but it’s easy (at least for him). Putting skills to the test is hard. It’s signing up to fail, which requires something different than practice and play…it requires persistence!

And that’s a whole different tool in the tennis bag!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Sign up to fail! Have you created a lifestyle or routine that ensures you will always come out even or ahead? Oh man, do I feel this! Because I, too, work really damn hard at keeping all my plates spinning just so. But how do we know how many plates we can really spin unless we test the boundary and break a few once in a while, right?! As you move through your week (and as I move through mine)…let’s look for areas, activities, endeavors, or outreach where we can afford to come up short a few times. And if this thought absolutely terrifies you (because it does me), it’s probably worth trying!

You don’t have the roll the dice on something catastrophic…pick something inconsequential, something you know you can recover from, and give failure a try!

Sign up to fail!

Spread Happyness – tell me, where can you “sign up to fail” this week?

7/23/21 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #357 – Be Still!

“Sit down and rock awhile!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #357 – Be Still!

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Happy Friday!

This past Wednesday, I returned to Los Angeles from a weird and intense trip back home to the Jersey Shore.  After MONTHS of not traveling anywhere, I knew from the minute we couldn’t get an Uber to the airport on a Monday morning that we were in for a rough week!

My trip, as always this time of year, was centered around an annual concert in Ocean Grove’s Great Auditorium — which is usually one of the single busiest weeks of the summer (and one of the hottest!).  

Between singing in the concert and grabbing slices of time with family — there normally isn’t much time to schedule other activities, visits, or downtime.

This time though, due to some extreme and bizarre weather, almost everyone canceled on us!

Which meant I had a little more unstructured time than I planned!

And as I sat spinning in my guest unit, scrolling through my phone, and feeling a little more isolated and uneasy than when I am 3,000 miles away…I remembered one of my most favorite past times in Ocean Grove!

Porch-Hopping!

Porch-hopping is a special kind of visiting…no planning, no deadlines, no expectations.  You simply make yourself available and see who passes by!  It’s not a date for an entire day or evening…it’s grab-and-go.  Take what you can.  Just a few precious moments of eternal NOW.

And you learn to make it count!

Summers move pretty fast in Ocean Grove!  And after five years in Southern California, where there’s always another beautiful day, I could really feel the pressure to “make something” of my visit.  

But in the absence of running here and running there, I was left with only one option:

To be still.

I took a walk down the street. And truth was, I didn’t get a few houses before I was waved down and invited up the walk for a chat! And then another. And then another. All without texting, calling, or coordinating!

Strange how sometimes the fastest way to get where you want to go…is to slow down!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Be Still!  Whether you have a porch, deck, patio, balcony, or tailgate — pull up a chair, take a load off, sit a spell, have a chat, visit a bit, or rock a while!  Watch the traffic pass, cars park, people walk by, critters hard at work, nature doing her thing, or just observe the world moving about while you sit still.  Invite someone to join you.  Share a glass of something cold, have a conversation, meet a neighbor, visit with friends, or get to know just a little bit more about your very own family.

Make porch time a priority this week!

Spread Happyness — tell me, what’s your favorite place for a nice long sit?

7/16/21 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #356 – Walk the Boards and Ride the Waves!

Robert Church, Jr. 1974-2014
“Loved and Remembered Always.”

Week #356 – Walk the Boards and Ride the Waves!

Greetings Happyness Tribe!!!

I’m FINALLY back in Ocean Grove this week!  Holy Ground, God’s Square Mile, and every bit of Heaven on Earth!!!

And all I can think about is this post…from Week #43.  So forgive the repeat…because after a year of not getting back here, I can assure you I’m making up for lost time by “walking the boards and riding the waves!”  (I know you understand!)

Just before Summer of 2015…a new memorial planter quietly appeared on the boardwalk in Ocean Grove.  The planter’s inscription reads:

Robert Church, Jr.  1974-2014
Walked these boards and rode the waves.
Loved and Remembered Always

Since Rob disappeared from our boardwalk in 2014 — I still look (even today) for his 6-foot-something frame, his big wave, and his confident stride.  

And with every turn onto Ocean Avenue — I’m reminded of his absence in this beautiful place.  A place we shared as a family since childhood — and continued to share into our adulthood.

A place we somehow, even now, continue to share.  ♥

Through all the years we visited Ocean Grove — as children, teens, adults, and friends — we never dreamed it would come to this.  Benches and planters and plaques were for old people, maybe even pets, but not for us.  We were young, vital, alive.

And THAT is the point of the plaques on those benches and planters.  Life is about what you do, where you do it, and who you do it with.  The planters and benches along the boardwalk are filled with legacies: “…who loved Ocean Grove…”, “…who helped us all to grow…”, “whose happiness was a day at the beach…”

What would yours say?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: “WALK THE BOARDS and RIDE THE WAVES!”  If someone were to write a memorial plaque about you…what would it say?  Where would they put it?  Spend time this week doing that thing as if it was your last.  Imagine how you might want to be remembered…then make it a point to LIVE IT!  Do it with love…do it with laughter…and above all: do it with Happyness!

Don’t wait!  Live your legacy today! And enjoy every moment! (I know I am!)

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!

7/9/21 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #355 – It’s Fourth of July Weekend!!! (Do you know where your fireworks are?)

Beach Fireworks (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #355 – It’s Fourth of July Weekend!!! (Do you know where your fireworks are?)

Greetings, Tribe — and Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

I’m revisiting a post I did NOT get to revisit last year (due to Covid)! Wishing you a happy, safe, and healthy Fourth of July Sunday!!!

With the Fourth of July just a few days away, I bet you know right where you are going to be this coming weekend — because nothings says sum-sum-summertime like a good ol’ fireworks show!

Or maybe you don’t. (And I bet you aren’t alone!)

Holidays are one of the loneliest times for someone who is away from home, new to town, suddenly out on their own — or this year especially, who’s life has changed dramatically.  

And at the height of the summer, when everyone else seems to be having the greatest time ever, it can feel like you’re not included or somehow missed the boat.

Fireworks are one of those elusive festivities.  Google all you want…finding out the “right” place to be, at the right time, on the right day can feel desperate and maddening.

So help a neighbor out, will you?!  If you’re in the know about where/when the best shows in your area are…don’t keep it to yourself!  

Spread Happyness: spread the info — and share what you know!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Do you know where your fireworks are?  If so, don’t keep all the fun to yourself!  Social media makes it easier than ever to get the word out.  Share the info with your neighbors, friends, and on your networks.  Better yet, invite someone to watch them with you.  It has been an insanely isolating year for some…reach across the yard, the street, the hallway at school, or the corridor at work…and share what you know!

(Better yet, invite someone along!)

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!!!

7/2/21 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com