Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Welcome to Week #521!
It’s been five hundred and twenty one weeks…but I swear, you were just here yesterday!
Laughing, joking, hanging at Clancy’s. Riding the bikes down “Veronica Boulevard.” Zooming the jet skis through the lagoon. Laughing, joking, messing around…
Like we didn’t have a care in the world.
How did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened…But HOW did this happen? How does ten years go by in a blink?
Because it’s frozen in time. YOU are now frozen in time. Eternal. Timeless. Forever Young.
Me? Not so much. I’m ten years older. A little crispier. And this year, I hate to admit it, a little bit bitter.
Because, let’s face it, we have had a year. Jim and I both racked up another two losses this year (his mom in December and mine in January). But it’s more than that. In the past ten years there is so much I haven’t done. So much I wanted to do. So much I still need to do. So much left undone.
THAT is the sting of regret.
That is the primary emotion I was feeling as I approached this particular anniversary…a referendum on everything that hasn’t happened in the past ten years. (Forget about all that we DID do and accomplish: a cross-country move, scripts sold, a movie made, precious visits home, a dog acquired — just to name a few.)
It took some coaching to turn this around. The suggestion: take regret off the table. Which begs the question, what are the other options?
Hmm…I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t thought about regret NOT being an option. So in true word-nerd approach, I went to the thesaurus: What is the opposite of regret?
Calm, comfort, contentment, delight, happiness, joy…
Woah, wait…HAPPINESS?! Well isn’t that a pinch-y twist of irony!
Because in the last few years, especially this year, I took my eye off Happyness. In the midst of a writer’s strike, two deaths, and (yet another) contentious election year I somehow started counting grievances instead of gains.
And that’s easy…because in the world we live in now, complaining is commonplace. Everyone’s got an opinion. Some might even be right.
But you know what? I do too. And as for me, Happyness is making a comeback. Because one thing I know for sure…Rob would not want me to get bitter. That would be the worst way to remember him. Life is too short, too precious, and (in his words) there is no time to waste.
So this year, I’m re-dedicated myself to trading:
Calm for Chaos
Comfort for Complaining
Contentment for Criticism
Delight for Disillusionment
Joy for Jabs
Pleasure for Pain
Relief for Resistance
Satisfaction for Shortage
and oh yeah, Happyness for Hate.
I stopped blogging in the wake of the pandemic. The world, it seemed, wanted division and discord and disagreement…and maybe it still does. That’s fine. Because the world will have it’s way…but I have mine.
And I choose Happyness. (No regrets!)
Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Choose Happyness!!! Happyness has never been about a state of being…it’s always been about a conscious choice to act, react, share, or spread something just a little bit brighter than what we’ve been handed. If you’re worn out from chaos, complaining, criticism, or discontent…take it off the table, and choose Happyness instead!
To life! To love!! To Happyness!!!
9/06/24 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com
Oh Grace I needed this reminder. We too have lost two family members this year, my mom battled cancer (and won) and so many other things. But I too have been choosing to just be in “what is” and find joy in life again. I refuse to be a part of any divide our world is tying to thrust upon us and have had to put big boundaries around what I let in. Choosing happyness right along side you neighbor!!! Sending you a big hug from Florida.
Loved your words
Thank you Grace for your transparency is sharing and your tenacity, being willing to continue sharing 10 years later. You bless more people than you can possibly imagine.
Today this word nerd was delving into “chesed” or “hesed,” a Hebrew word translated as mercy, compassion, kindness, or unfailing love. It is what we all want from God, and from each other. There are two main thoughts engrained in this complex Hebrew word – mercy/kindness and faithfulness. We want God’s mercy and we want it to keep coming. I think perhaps the problems come when we expect other people to give what only God can give. Since, sooner or later, we reveal our feet of clay, what are we left with? Commitment. Our frail human nature requires commitment as the foundation of our relationships because feelings (no matter how strong) will eventually disappoint.
Today we honor your commitment and are blessed by your sharing. I’m praying that the God of all comfort will draw near to you and everyone who loves and misses Rob still today. Happyness is indeed a choice!