“How ya’ doing?” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #72 – Back to Basics: “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

Back at Week #13, I wrote about this phrase — written on a strip of paper on the “Words to Remember Me By…” board at Rob’s services.  It’s a question we hear in passing every single day (How are ya?  How ya’ doing?) — but how many people really intend to get an answer?

As many of you remember, when Rob asked you this question — he wanted to know the answer.  And he was prepared to take the time to get it.  He wasn’t afraid of an honest answer either.  In fact, he seemed to delight in it!  I’d venture a guess that much of the happyness in our individual relationships with him was built on this kind of ease and honesty.  It is one of the things I know many of us miss.

SpreadHappyness was born with the mission to look at the little ways our beloved friend/brother/mate/partner brought happiness to people’s lives — and challenge ourselves to carry this light forward to others each week.  This past month, we’ve revisited some of the basics…and reflected on some of the little things that really meant the most:

1. Smile
2. Wave Big
3. Say Hello Like You Mean It
4. “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

January has been a busy month for everyone — back on schedule, back to work, back to school.  As we move forward into 2016, please remember (and I need to, also!) that happiness is not an accident.  It’s a choice.  We CAN create Happyness…one week, and one interaction, at a time!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: How are YOU doing?  Pick someone (or maybe try everyone) and ask sincerely: “Hey, how ya’ doing?”  Be prepared to spend a little time listening to an honest answer…and be ready to offer words of encouragement whether it’s good news or bad news.  This includes being excited/enthusiastic/encouraging to someone who is starting something new — or being patient/understanding/steadfast toward someone who is struggling.  One great answer to either scenario is simply: “I believe in you!” (and mean it!)

And so, let me ask you…How are you doing?  Is there anything I can do to help or encourage or celebrate with you?  Because…and this is true…I believe in you!

Spread Happyness this week…and tell us how you are doing in the comments!

1/29/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Fun at the clubhouse! (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #70 – Back to Basics: WAVE BIG!

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

This month we are getting back to basics.  Last week, we remembered to SMILE (even when our hearts are breaking)!

This week, I want to go back to the very first thing I wrote about on Week #1:
Rob’s BIG WAVE!

There are still so many things I miss about Rob — but one of the things I continue to miss the most is his big wave hello.  Do you know the one I’m talking about?  You could see it from a mile away.  I could often spot him from my porch — or from the ocean, or from the pier — just by his silhouette.  And then, each and every time, that long right arm would swing out to the side and up overhead and he’d raise his big right paw in the air.  I have looked for that wave since he disappeared from the beach in 2014 — and I know it will be the first thing I see when I meet him again!

There is nothing like the recognition an enthusiastic wave conveys.  Most people give a small little raise of the hand that hardly gets noticed.  I’m talking about something someone can see from a distance!

“I see you!”
“I’m happy to be here!”
“I’m happy to see you!”

My mother (I can pick on her because she’s not on the internet!) enthusiastically greets everyone by waving both hands in the air like she about to leave port (my partner Jim calls this the “Titanic wave”).  My sister waves her hands wildly — as if her big mop of blonde hair wasn’t enough to get your attention! (Hi Vickey!)

What about you?  

Do you have a signature wave?  

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: WAVE BIG!!!  You’ll have so many opportunities to greet people this week.  When you do, wave like you mean it!  Popular statistics teach us that body language accounts for 55% of our communication with each other.  Even from a distance, the first opportunity to communicate is your wave!  Don’t just let someone know you see them…WAVE BIG, and let them know you are HAPPY to see them!

Spread Happyness — WAVE BIG and let someone know you are happy to see them!

1/14/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Smile!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #69 – Back to Basics: SMILE!

Greetings, Happyness Tribe — I hope your new year is off to a great start!

After the busyness of the holiday season — shopping, visiting, celebrating, reflecting, and planning — the quiet and cold routine of January is always a favorite time of year for getting back to basics.

I know for myself that after weeks of pressing forward to December 31st — moving from one thing to another and despite my own better judgment — I looked up and realized:

I hadn’t been smiling! (What about you?)

People often comment on my ability to smile regardless of the circumstances.  And as I looked back through my Facebook “year in review”, indeed I saw my own face smiling back at me.  But in my eyes I saw the truth of year-one:

I was smiling, even though my heart was breaking.

It brought me back to my thoughts on Week #8: “Smiling is a habit…nearly a reflex.  It’s something you practice before it becomes automatic, kind of like a killer karate move.  You don’t wait to learn those moves in a crucial situation…you practice them over and over again beforehand.”

And still, the more I thought about it…the more I remembered that smiling is complicated business: If we smile regardless of the circumstances, then we’re not being true to our grumpiest selves.  But if we are true to our grumpiest selves, then we’re sure never to smile!

So which comes first…the smile or the happyness?

I pondered this as I ran from commitment to commitment, squeezing in errands, burning the midnight oil, and still dealing with the grief of year-two.  Here I was, sitting on 68 weeks of blogposts about Happyness — and I was finding it harder and harder to muster a smile.

As I struggled through New Year’s Eve, I heard the song “Smile”, which brought me back again to Week #8 — and the permission to “Smile, though your heart is aching.”

The scene from the movie Chaplin replayed in my mind.  Charlie’s just been given heartbreaking news about a long lost love.  He buckles under the sadness.  Meanwhile, his fans eagerly wait to greet him.  Seeing the crowd and Charlie’s state, his friend asks him, “What are we gonna do, Charlie?”  Chaplin pulls himself together and bravely responds: “Smile.”  With that, they head out into a sea of admirers.  Charlie’s fans expect him to make them smile…and that, in return, is what makes Charlie smile.

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Get back to basics — and SMILE!  In the flurry of getting your year off on the right foot — back to work, back to fitness, back to diets, goals, vacations, resolutions, savings — whatever you are planning, remember to take a look in the mirror once and while and SMILE!  Better yet — challenge yourself to a week, a month, or a year worth of smiles!  Not for others — but for yourself!

Make smiling a choice whether you are happy or not  — and you may just find that whether you are happy or not, you are smiling anyway!  😉

Spread Happyness — SMILE!  And share your experience (or face) in the comments!

1/8/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

NYE’05 (photo credit: Gina Buongiorno)

[Editor’s Note: this is a partial re-post from Week #16 — because celebrating is never a bad idea!]

Week #68 – One Surefire Way to “Love Your Life” in 2016!

New Year’s is a natural time to look back over the past year and reflect on the highs, the lows, what happened, what went wrong, and how we can fix it in the new year ahead.

But it’s hard to love your life when it’s so easy to look back and come up with all the bad things that happened.  At the end of 2014 — while looking back on all that transpired — I forgot about starting this website and blogging for the first time (something I had been wanting to do for years!).  Those two wins got eclipsed (momentarily) by one very significant loss.  It’s easy to get stuck on the losses…but we have to balance them with what we’ve gained.  We have to, as our friend Rob Nicholson said in a Facebook post last year:

“Keep moving forward and celebrate and revel in what we have!”

So I challenged you last year to look ahead…WAY ahead.  To December 31st of 2015.  And I asked you — What will it take to say on that day, “I love my life?”

Do you remember?  If not, don’t feel bad.  I said at that time that I knew one thing for sure:

It will take REMINDERS!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Were you one of the ones that kept track of your achievements, high points, and happy moments?  If not — don’t worry.  Go back through your calendar, your emails, your phone — whatever it takes to come up with enough reminders of all you accomplished and did right this year!  And either way — CELEBRATE the completion of another year, another trip around the sun!  SHARE your successes with others — and ENCOURAGE others to live a life they LOVE in 2016!

Bonus Challenge: Don’t count on yourself to remember everything about the year ahead come December 31st next year.  Make a plan to curate the wins just as much as the losses.  Come up with a system for recording your achievements, successes, highlights, and otherwise happy times THROUGHOUT the year ahead!  The most obvious way is to keep a dated list — in a journal, on your computer, via email, or on your phone — where you take time each day to review your activities and take note of anything special or significant.  I keep a running list by date and habitually recount the day’s activities.  To be honest, most days it’s pretty mundane — but the habit assures that when something notable happens I’m going to capture and remember it.  Here are some other ideas from last year’s post:

• I’ve seen a Gratitude Tree — write what you’re grateful for on little shapes and fill an inside tree or wall mural up throughout the year (works in classrooms, too!).
• I heard of photo-journaling — use cell-phone photos in a specific file or on Instagram to keep track of accomplishments.
• But my favorite has been the Joy Jar or Happiness Jar!  The idea is simple: you start on January 1st (okay, 2nd) with an empty jar in a prominent location in your home — and you start dropping notes in it throughout the year about things that went well, things that make you happy, things you’re grateful for, achieved, or accomplished.  At the end of the year you have a personal collection of happy memories to review — or immediate access throughout the year when you need a lift to face a challenge!  One woman even collaged them on a monthly basis as a type of word-cloud to record as a journal.

The possibilities are endless — but the idea is the same: make it a point to collect the good stuff!  Because we need more of that.  More focus on the wins.  More focus on what’s right.  More focus on loving our lives — so that we can live our lives more fully.

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts or suggestions for tracking your accomplishments in the comments!

1/1/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

“Spread Happyness!!!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #67 – One Week to Happyness: SPREAD HAPPYNESS!!!

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Merry Christmas!

I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading about Happyness in Action these past few weeks.  I’ll be continuing to search for and feature individuals in 2016 who take action to Spread Happyness to others.  Remember…if you know someone who embodies Happyness in Action, please send your nomination to grace@spreadhappyness.com!  I’d love to hear about it!

And thanks to everyone who contributed to the 50 for #50 Virtual Toy Drive.  Since today is Christmas Day, I’m going to challenge you to keep the giving going — and spread Random Acts of Happyness this week!  Let’s make it a Happyness Blitz to end 2015!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: SPREAD HAPPYNESS!  I’m looking for 50 people to spread Random Acts of Happyness (RAH’s) this week!  You can scroll back through previous posts for ideas — but here are the most recent:

• Gather Together — Invite a solo neighbor or coworker to celebrate the holidays with you.
• Spread the Warmth — donate blankets or toiletries to shelters
• Random Acts of Kindness — follow Kindness for Christopher for ideas every month!
• Toys for Trucks — donate unwanted toys/games, even after the holiday
• Express Yourself — share your art with someone (or encourage someone else to share).
• Take Action — see a problem, create a solution!  Set a goal and share with others!
• Connect — Reach out to someone!  Let them know you are thinking about them!
• Give Someone Wings — encourage someone to develop a goal and go after their dream
• Set Priorities — help someone set priorities and create a plan for 2016
• Plan Ahead! — Happyness is not an accident!  Encourage, support, and connect with others who are setting new goals and making plans for 2016!!!  Take Action — Make it Happen!!!

Are you “Loving Life” in 2015?!  If so — share Happyness with others!  If not — make Happyness a priority in 2016!!!  (And please let me know how I can help!)

Spread Light, Spread Love, Spread Happyness — Blitz your world with Happyness this week!  And be sure to tell us about it in the comments!

12/25/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

50 for #50 Virtual Toy Drive & Happyness Blitz Update  (AS OF 12/18/15):
1. A football, Hot Wheels set, Loom activity set, 500-piece puzzle, toy construction vehicle, mini construction vehicle set, and a tea party set were donated to Toys for Tots.
2. Lego Friends toy donated at Turtleback Zoo Toy Drive.
3. Donation was made to Teterboro Animal Shelter
4. Donation was made to Endometriosis Foundation of America
5. (Who’s next?)

The Original Neighbor’s Table (credit: Sarah Harmeyer)

Week #66 – Two Weeks to Happyness: SPREAD THE LOVE!
(Happyness in Action with Sarah Harmeyer)

[Editor’s note: Our second-annual 50 for #50 Virtual Toy Drive is underway!  You choose your gift and your location — or some other Random Act of Happyness.  Just let us know what you donated and where…and maybe even post a photo!  We’ve already logged the first ten gifts!  Keep ’em coming!]

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

This week, I am so pleased to announce our fifth nomination for Happyness in Action: Sarah Harmeyer of Dallas, TX for her creation of Neighbor’s Table. Sarah took a simple concept and a sweet memory — and turned it into “A Love Mission” that has kept her (and her family) busy for over four years and just landed her table on HGTV’s “Nashville Flipped!”  She is the “Chief People Gatherer” at Neighbor’s Table — a movement that encourages people to step outside their homes and get to know their neighbors, one table at a time!

And it all started in her own backyard!

Sarah shared her story with me: “The concept of Neighbor’s Table comes from my personal passion for gathering people and my desire to get to know my neighbors.  I asked my Dad to build a table big enough to seat 20. In 2012, I set a goal to serve 500 people at that table, one dinner party after another.  I did it that year, and have now gathered almost 2,000 people since.”

But why a table?

“I thought back to the very best moments in my life and it was always around the table.  It was around the kitchen, planning parties, celebrating other people.  In graduate school I even had a little cafe out of my house and it was the very best year of my life.  So, I started paying attention to when I came alive.  That’s when a friend helped me realize I was a people gatherer.”

So Sarah’s father built her a custom table.  “I had my first party in March of 2012 and I extended invitations to my neighborhood.  I invited them to step outside their home and meet neighbors, even if they’ve never done so.  To my surprise, 91 neighbors came that night — and the rest was history.”

The first goal: 500.

How did she go from 91 to 500 that first year?  “I told people my goal of 500 people that year and when people know about your goal they ask you about it.  On Thanksgiving Day 2012, the 500th guest walked down my driveway.  There was clapping, cheers, photos and video.  We did it, it became OUR table, not just my table.”  Since then, Sarah reports that almost 2000 people have celebrated at the original Neighbor’s Table.

But Sarah didn’t stop there.  “A couple of years ago I asked my Dad if he’d be willing to build tables for other people.  I got to thinking it would be really fun to cheer people on to love their neighbors and to start their own love mission in their community.”  I asked Sarah about the first table they built after their own.  “The first table we built, after the original, was delivered to a college student in Waco, TX as a surprise from her parents.  We delivered it on October 19, 2013.”

And now?

“We have been building tables from our family barn and delivering them all over the country.  We want to see ordinary people loving extraordinarily around the table.”  There are Neighbor’s Tables currently in 10 states — with a goal of having tables in backyards in every state in the US by 2020!  “The power of community that now regularly gathers at the original Neighbor’s Table has spurred a desire to launch a movement — a love mission, if you will.”

I asked Sarah what Happyness means to her: “Happiness is gathering friends and strangers alike around the table and figuring out ways the entire time on how to love them.  Happiness is cheering others to love.  Happiness is doing the thing that God has made you to do.”

What about you, Happyness Tribe?  Are you ready to Spread the Love?

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: GATHER TOGETHER!  Last week, Aubrey challenged us to put down our devices and spend quality time with the ones we love.  Sarah now encourages us to bring our NEIGHBORS into the mix!  This might be especially meaningful during the holidays — when one or more of your neighbors are alone or distanced from family (or perhaps it’s you that feels alone this holiday season).  Open your doors!  Spread the Love!

“Make time for someone in your community. Look for ways to love those to the left and right of you.” (Sarah Harmeyer)

Spread Happyness — Spread the Love!  Get to know your neighbors this week — and tell us about it in the comments!

12/18/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

(Thanks to Sarah Harmeyer for welcoming me to her virtual table!  To learn more about Sarah and Neighbor’s Table, read inspiring stories, or find out how to get a custom handcrafted table for your own backyard — follow Neighbor’s Table on Instagram and Facebook, or sign up for emails or purchase at http://neighborstable.com.)

50 for #50 Virtual Toy Drive Update  (AS OF 12/18/15):
1. A football, Hot Wheels set, Loom activity set, 500-piece puzzle, toy construction vehicle, mini construction vehicle set, and a tea party set were donated to Toys for Tots.
2. Lego Friends toy donated at Turtleback Zoo Toy Drive.
3. Donation was made to Teterboro Animal Shelter
4. Donation was made to Endometriosis Foundation of America

Keep ’em coming!!!