Week #4 – “Got Character?!”

Build Character (photo credit: Grace Church)

Character Muscles (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #4 – “Got Character?!”

There have been many words used to describe Rob in the month since his passing.  The word board at the funeral home was filled with over 150 words or phrases.  My parents have received hundreds of notes and cards, each filled with unique and loving descriptions of Rob from the many and varied corners of his life.  And more words have spilled out on his tribute page, on Facebook, and on this blog.  Hundreds of words — many different words — that all together assemble a complete picture not just of a human being, but the entirety of a soul.

The first words I jotted down were the Sunday after Rob died.  I had been asked to prepare something for his funeral — but for the first time in a long while, I couldn’t string any thoughts together.  So I just began writing down words that reminded me of Rob.  Shortly after, I was standing outside talking to some people about him and a woman, standing a little too close by, uttered the words: “he was a real character”.  I asked if she knew him, but she didn’t.  She said those words just came to her.  I wrote them down…and here we are!  The first among a long list of words that are the fuel for this blog.

Most of what I’ve learned about character I’ve learned through screenwriting.  Simply put: great characters make great movies.  This is because they are integrated: we understand quickly WHO they are, WHERE they come from, WHAT they do, and WHY they do it.  And because of that — good or bad — we are willing to follow them anywhere (at least for a few hours).

The root of the word “character” literally means to scrape or scratch (as in, engrave). Figuratively it means “symbol or imprint on the soul” — or “the collection of qualities that define a person.”  (Thanks to etymology.com for this insight!)  Together each week we look at a different aspect of Rob’s unique character — not only to celebrate his life — but to gain insight into our own lives, and learn to spread happyness to others in our path.  What about you?  Have you “Got Character?!”

Your assignment for the weekend: Assemble a list of words that people might write about you.  If you’re really brave — you might even ask a few close friends for some ideas.  What are the collection of qualities that define you as a person?  WHO are you, WHERE do you come from, WHAT do you do, HOW do you behave, and WHY do you do it?  Remember, flaws and foibles are okay…that’s the stuff heroes are made of!  Write them down — all of them.  Now ask yourself — is this truly who you are?  Is this the mark of your SOUL?  Are these your best character muscles?  If so — tell us what they are!  Flex ’em loud and proud!  If not — pick one quality you want to develop or improve and start exercising it this weekend!

It is never too late to build good character!  How will you start today?

Spread Happyness — and tell us about it in the comments!

10/10/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

Week #3 – “Shakers!” (aka Nicknames…and other ways to win friends and influence people)

(Photo credit: Grace Church)

(Photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #3 – “Shakers!” (aka Nicknames…and other ways to win friends and influence people)

In the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie wrote: “a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Sorry, Dale…I disagree.  A nickname is even sweeter!

Rob — also known as Baab, Babadino, Rob-a-dob, Rhubarb, Runt, Mayor, Gov’, or Platypus — rarely called anyone by their proper name.  This has been alluded to already in the comments both on the website and Facebook — and is one of the things seared into people’s memories of him.  From grade school through adulthood — Rob would often use nicknames, nut just as a sign of affection, but as a secret nod acknowledging an entire memory or experience just the two of you shared.  Mine was a long drawn-out “Yeesssssss, Graaaaaaaace.”  His signal to me that I was brooding far too much about something unimportant and missing the fun of the moment right in front of me.  How right he so often was!  What about you?

Your assignment for this weekend: sweeten things up by playing the nickname-game!  You can say the first things that come to your mind (goodness knows Rob would!) — or, if you need a little help, try adding a “-ster” or “-dino” or “-dob” or “-toozie” to everyone’s name.  Come on folks, for the love of happiness, are you willing to try this?!

What do you think of nicknames?  Spread the happiness…and tell us in the comments!

10/3/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

Week #2 – Say Hello Like You Mean It!

(Photo credit: Grace Church)

Rob and Nina (Photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #2 – Say Hello Like You Mean It!

After his initial big wave, one of the things most people remember about Rob is his greeting: whether it was a flat and long “Heeeeeeey Grace!”, or a squeaky and high pitched “Neeeeeena!” when encountering our little guest dog, or a nonsensical “Jimmy-Jimmy-Two-by-Four” in a random five-second voicemail.  Rob had a unique and enthusiastic greeting for each and every person he met.  What about you?!

Your assignment for this weekend: say HELLO like you mean it!  Consciously greet everyone with your own signature how-are-ya.  I know people with a distinct “Hey!”, or “Wassup?”, or even a “Yoooooo-Hooooo!”  Personally, I tend to make up nicknames for people as a sign of my affection.  If you can’t think of something — borrow one of Rob’s, try something on for size, or make up one of your own!  And let us know how it goes!

How do you say “Hello”?  Spread the happiness…and share it in the comments!

9/26/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

Week #1 – Wave Big

(Photo credit: Courtesy of Gina Buongiorno)

(Photo credit: Courtesy of Gina Buongiorno)

Happy Friday!

And welcome back to SpreadHappyness.com!  It was two weeks ago that our precious brother and friend left this earth.  As promised…I’m here to remind you of him, to discuss all the ways Rob spread happiness to people, and to challenge you to carry his spirit forward by adopting his special code for spreading happiness to all who now cross your path!

Week #1 Challenge – Wave Big

There are so many things I miss about Rob — but one of the things I miss most, and I’ve missed it all summer, is his big wave.  Do you know the one I’m talking about?!  I could see it from a mile away.  In fact, I could often spot him from my porch — or from the ocean, or from the pier — just by his silhouette.  And then, each and every time, that long right arm would swing out to the side and up overhead and he’d raise his big right paw in the air.  I have looked for that wave since he disappeared from the beach this spring — and I know it will be the first thing I see when we meet again!

So…your assignment this weekend is to come up with a signature wave!  Most people give a small little raise of the hand that hardly gets noticed.  I’m talking about something someone can see from a distance!  My mother (I can pick on her because she’s not on the internet!) enthusiastically greets everyone by waving both hands in the air like she about to leave port (my partner Jim calls this the “Titanic wave”).  Do you have a signature wave?  If not, try some on for size this weekend — and let us know how it goes!

Do you remember Rob waving to you?  Paint us a picture — tell us about it in the comments!

9/19/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

Thank you for coming to visit!

SpreadHappyness.com was created in honor of my beloved brother and best friend, Robert Church Jr., who died on Friday, September 5th after a short battle with cancer.  He was 40 years old.

It is my wish to identify and carry forward (through weekly blogposts/challenges) the torch of Rob’s legacy — which I believe was his natural ability to spread happiness to anyone who was lucky enough to cross his path.  If you knew Rob, you already know this to be true.  And I bet you have a story all your own about something Rob said or did — maybe even 20 years ago — that continues to make you happy today!  I want to hear those stories!!!

If you didn’t get to meet Rob, let me introduce you.  I pledge to deliver a little dose of him to you every Friday morning (at least) via this blog.  Because cancer is not the only thing that can spread.  Happiness can take on a life of it’s own too!  It will be up to us to carry his light forward by sharing our stories, living his lessons, and spreading happiness to those who are now lucky enough to cross our paths!

With great love and affection for you all…
Grace (aka “Rob’s sister!”)

PS: Tell me — How did Rob spread happiness in your life?

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